Weekends im always somewhere out there at a club; sipping whiskey on the rocks and watching drunkards get drunk. Its almost funny to walk into a club after the witching hours because people you once thought were beautiful go bare naked and lose all of their cool-ness; stumbling upon various levels concrete steps and mumbling to sean-john; its so hard to impress the blings you have if you don’t know how to hold your drinks.
So weekends; there i am standing, watching the crowd desperately shuffling the melbourne-do; distastefully short microminis illuminating cellulites even in the dark – girls what are you doing to yourself? Pray tell… or maybe i should blame the door bitch for permitting entry to fashion criminals. Beautiful people come and go by; friends drop by – and as soon as i spot them making a beeline for me, i’d smile, i’d want to hug them… sometimes i give them the 2second appraisal.
Yes the 2sec appraisal everyone unconsciously do when they are checking out fresh meat.
A beautiful Ex of mine found his way to the table when i gave him the 2sec appraisal. Up down… pass, big winning smile.
“Hey big boy…”, i sed kisses on cheeks; i took in a whiff of his intoxicating aftershave.
“heyy pretty one… how u doin? haven’t seen you in a while; what’s shakin’?” he asked again; “… why do you always have that lansi look on your face when you see me?”
“huh?! what look?” – i am mystified by his comment but said anyway “i smiled waaatttt….”
“no; that look baby… the first one you gave me”
“oh that!!!” gosh – two second appraisal is getting too much part of me now i dont realise i do it most of the time…
“this?” i re-did that look
“yes princess, thaaaaat one…” he clinks his rockglass with mine.
“sorry-ler, i din mean to look so bitchy…” i sed. Its hard to start off a night with a bunch of gorgeous people on a bad note. I hate to seem like bad company.
“…how do you do it? where’d you learn it from? can teach me ah?” – what he said threw me completely off balance, i had to gain composure and steady my *ahem* cool-ness.
“huh? wadayamean?”
“i always wanted to be able to do it, you know…its a donfuckwithme look; with that kind of look sure you have no problems walking into any clubs beyond the velvet rope”
i laughed, stepped closer to him and proceed to brush the invisible lint off his beautiful broad chest “honey, its not an acquired skill… it comes completely… Natural. God’s Gift; and its only available to the ones with the XX chromosomes and to those who adopted the XXs…”
I leaned even closer, straighten his collar and whispered into his ear “…yr never gonna learn it baby”
he chuckled and said, ” well, i’m going to get another glass of chivas; you want one?”;
The 2sec look came back, i nodded and grinned at him; he sauntered off with his pointer finger wriggling in my direction which i take to imply “naughty naughty”
gosh.
how was i supposed to know i still carry that ‘look’. i know someone told me to stop giving her the ‘bitchy’ look. And that was like 4 months ago. Now, i’m back at it with a brand new ‘complaint’ that sounded more like a compliment…
maybe its me i’ve been drinking, had i not been a little over intoxicated, i’d be double checking myself and my ‘tude.
then again, if that ‘look’ gets me more than a coupla rounds of drinks, little bit of healty flirting and the full attention of the most beautiful man i’ve ever seen…
why d hell not…
